Nerves

I am going through my days, going through the motions, trying to push back the ball of nerves that sits ever-present in my stomach. I have great hope and faith that we will get to pick up Gabe, but there is always the lingering "what if?" What if the birth certificate office won't issue us his new birth certificate? What if the passport office flat-out says "no"? Will we have to hire an attorney while there? What if....?

We are one of the "lucky" six families you may have heard about (there are actually only five families because one is adopting two kids): we passed court AND the mandatory 30 day appeal period before January 1st. We would have been able to pick him up December 30th if the government offices hadn't shut down for the holidays. Media in the US are reporting that we have a very good chance of being able to bring him home. However, Russian officials are being completely silent to the US Department of State right now, which is never a good sign. There have been rumors of a special needs amendment, but again, it is just rumor. The cold facts are that no one here or there knows for sure what is going to happen when we arrive in Moscow to pick up our boy. But I am his mother, legally and in my heart, and I will fight for him with any authority I may have as his legal parent.

Brian asked me to put together a video of our second trip photos and videos, so if I can get my computer to cooperate I will try to get one posted before we go. For right now, I am just missing this: