Birthday Time

Tonight I will party with my oldest-a beautiful daughter who will turn 8 years old come Monday.  Holy smokes!  Who said she could grow so quickly?  Sometimes it feels like yesterday that we bundled her up for the car ride home from the hospital.  It felt almost like we were fooling someone, for them to let us take home this perfect little being!  We were  young (25) and had no experience being parents.  The longer I am a mother, the more I realize that my own mother must have felt like I do at times....learning as I go!  That is also why I admire and respect her so much.  She went through a lot in her young marriage, including the death of my father when we were all small children.  I'm not sure how she did it, but she survived, even went back to college and got her nursing degree and has become an excellent labor & delivery nurse.  I know she is a favorite around the hospital, because every time I've visited and people find out I'm her daughter, they always tell me how wonderful she is.  She was my inspiration for completing a college degree.  She showed me how important it was to be prepared for anything in life.

I guess having these big moments in your children's lives makes you think about your own mother too.  It also makes me think about my other children, and now, about Arnold.  His birthday is in July.  He'll be four years old.  I am really, really, hoping we can get our first travel date before his birthday.  I want him to know that this will be his last birthday without a family.  I want him to feel the joy of blowing out the candles on a delicious cake.  I want him to be surprised with the presents he'll receive.  I want him to see the smiling faces of his brother and sisters, friends and family who will celebrate with us.  I want so much for him.

Today is a glorious day in Idaho.  The sun is shining down and it is near 70 degrees.  My tulips are in full bloom and the grass is green.  We've planted peas in our garden, and the birds wake us up with their songs.  I feel so full and happy today.  I think Arnold is the missing piece of the puzzle that I didn't realize wasn't finished yet.  Knowing that the missing piece will soon be here, I feel fulfilled.  In many ways it's like going through a pregnancy, the anticipation I feel.  There are all the emotions present: hope, fear, impatience, longing, worry, excitement.  It is wonderful!